Nixon: The Naked Truth

I don’t have much to say about this, just wanted to share it with the world: a whole new view of that randy 37th president, Richard Milhous Nixon. I can’t even be arsed to come up with a good Tricky Dick line, but by all means, indulge.

I came across this randomly in the archives today–a forgotten smut mag that I was only browsing past to get to a few citations in Stallion. And there it was, the world’s least enticing porn headline of all time:

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Bad fluorescent glare, I know; but wait, does that say…

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Yep. It does.

Do you dare to see it? Well, first, some lazy research: I think this is new to the Internet. A quick Google search for “Richard Nixon nude” (I’d love to see the stats on how often that search is undertaken) yields mostly a few old newspaper items from 1977, when sculptor Ron Kron visualized Jimmy Carter “emerging from peanut,” as one headline read. Apparently Kron had also done a nude Nixon–but “under a Watergate towel.”

So, I believe I present the naked internet debut of one fully naked Nixon. I’ll leave some space–a last exit–for the weak of heart. But for the prurient, the curious, or that one person who has been googling “Richard Nixon nude” for the last decade without satisfying results, voila:

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I know, the Marlon Brando and Chuck Connors porn pics of underground-zine-days-of-yore were better. But this could be worse, I suppose. It could be Gerald Ford.

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